Starting in the Home

His heart should be set on guiding his household with wisdom and dignity; bringing up his children to worship with devotion and purity. For if he’s unable to properly lead his own household well, how could he properly lead God’s household?
— 1 Timothy 3:4-5 TPT

When I graduated from Bible school, I already had the title “pastor.” I was already heavily invested in leading the church. Yet, just weeks before graduating as I thought I would be catapulted into greater levels of influence, the Lord met me in a vision. He told me to surrender everything, including my ambition and “my ministry”. He wanted me to make my marriage and my household my first ministry. That was a difficult surrender for me, like discarding something that had been my focus and my passion and on which I had layered personal dreams.

Thank You, Lord, for stopping me in my plans and realigning me and my life! You are far more worthy than anything I could sacrifice! Your mercy and grace are far superior to anything I could build or attain! I say yes to You and Your ways!

As I released pastoral ministry and put my attention and energy into intimacy with Jesus, my wife, and my children, He did such a wonderful work in me and my household. I discovered over the years the three “I”s that would become foundational to me: Intimacy, Identity, and Influence. Everything begins with intimacy, and this is first learned, practiced, and modeled in the boundaries of our home, our most intimate relationships.

I have been far from perfect as a husband and father, and this has made me completely dependent on God’s mercy and grace. I’ve made mistakes and behaved in uncaring ways, yet the Spirit of God moves in wonderful, redemptive ways. For the past 20 years since that vision of Jesus, I’ve prayed earnestly for my wife and children, I’ve sung songs over them, I’ve invested the Word in them, I’ve prophesied over them, and I’ve lived openly before them. I’ve given them my attention and my time, though imperfectly and occasionally begrudgingly. And they’ve seen me fall and get up, they’ve experienced my callousness and my repentance, and they’ve seen a man who loves Jesus and wants so much to love them like He does.

And I see now the fruit in them. Just yesterday my wife prayed with other teachers (in the public school) to break off curses and witchcraft. She’s teaching them Kingdom. My children are becoming adults who love Jesus and pursue Him, though as imperfectly as me. What goodness the Lord has made of my simple sacrifice! No personal plan or agenda or worldly accolade or success compares to seeing Jesus in them.

I don’t say all this to “toot my own horn”. It humbles me so much to see what God has done and what He has redeemed. I’m not writing a book on how to be a great husband and father or how to raise a godly family. And I’m definitely not wanting to bring condemnation on anyone else. My simple testimony and encouragement is surrender everything —lay it all before the Lord. And then prioritize a life of authentic Spirit-led intimacy with Him and with those in your immediate circle, starting with your family.

Seeking His face!
Matt